Um. Hello. So. I'm Ven. *waves* Do not bite Ven. Ven is not very tasty.
Two nights ago, unable to sleep (to the devil with insomnia!), I decided to try to roast my brain with television emissions while waiting for my meds to kick in. The only thing I could find on was an episode of the original Star Trek on the scifi channel. Now, my dad was a trekkie in his youth. I remember watching episodes of The Next Generation with him when I was reeeeeally little (I developed quite an infatuation with Data). However, I'd never seen an episode of the original series, though I know fragmented bits of things about it from the inescapable trekkie fodder that litters the internet at every turn. And since my main fandom is Tolkien, I have of course seen the "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" video.
I should know better by now than to seek out new avenues of entertainment when my brain is not at its sanest. I'm afraid the world has conspired to create yet another Spock fangirl. The episode I caught happened to be "The Naked Time." Ven happens to be a total angst whore. I'll let you put two and two together.
So, um... Star Trek is a pretty vast fandom. Can anyone here steer me towards particular episodes of interest? Maybe link me to some decent websites? I've VERY much enjoyed the fan art in this community. Sites with art or good fanfiction are also appreciated.
In thanks, I sacrifice a piece of free-verse I wrote while watching "The Naked Time." I don't know how true to the overarching character it is. I picked up strong vibes of a thingy between Kirk and Spock, and I don't mean the slashy shipper kind. The ending of the poem reflects an impression I got that the two have an element of incredible depth in their relationship. I guess you COULD read it as slashy if you're into that, but it isn't intended on my part. I know too little about the characters, and I have a philosophical quest to research and preserve true platonic Friendship in our culture, so I don't read slash into any relationship until I have a really solid understanding of it and determine that it doesn't fit into my philosophical thingy. Another really strong vibe I got from the episode is that Spock has some serious issues regarding the fact that having a human mother makes him part human. Evidently human=bad/weak/scary/generally repulsive. So there you have the major themes of the piece. Spock wants to not be human but his attachment to Kirk (a human) makes the part of him that is like Kirk an inescapable fact of his own existance. Or something.
Please do tell me how much of this is totally out-of-the-ballpark wrong. I came up with these notions from watching only one episode at 5:00 in the morning, having not slept at all the previous night and being kinda out of it from my anti-anxiety meds which I FINALLY took to see if it would calm me down enough to fall asleep finally.
Spock: a Diagnosis
Touched by the Naked Time: he is
Inverted in spite of himself.
The hollow heart spills over
in rebel disregard for the consistency of repression,
denying his face's feigned betrayal
(that he is not an article of your subscribed genetic inheritance;
your nature dictates faith in the infinite and unreachable
where a part of you still reserves
possibility for the impossible,
and that is why you will never steer a course
into that part of the sky you know
belongs to angels).
The truth brings him uncomfortably close to your delusion,
to a more sinister brand of self-denial.
Even sub-categorical human nature
feels like an indoctrination of attempted suicide.
How deliciously ironic
that such notions in an unbalanced mind
only tip the vessel further,
producing one more drop of ireffutable evidence
of his own humanity.
I am a soldier.
I am in control.
Control is an illusion.
Mantra is no longer an option to purge his confirmed malignancy.
The symptoms will end with the advent of a hangover, but
the sickness is terminal:
There is no cure for Captain Kirk.